Brown Stripe and White/Yellow Stripe

Belt colors, that is!

Peter earned his brown stripe belt Friday night. He did really well despite the fact that he occasionally looked like he was going to pass out. He now has 3 belts to go and he is a black belt! Yikes! Do not mess with him!


With Master Yoo

Getting his new belt.

Group photo. They tested all the belts up to red stripe.

Caroline earned her white/yellow stripe today. She is not old enough to start regular TaeKwonDo, but she is old enough to be in the Tiger class of TKD designed for 4 and 5 year olds. She is the only girl in her class and she is also the loudest. Anyone who knows her is not surprised by this fact. :) While the boys were all white/yellow going for white/orange and got to test together, Caroline was the only one that was going for white/yellow so she had to test BY HERSELF! She has never tested for anything, let alone by herself! She did great and even Instructor Julie told her that it's hard to test by yourself and that she was doing a great job! Here's the link to the video.

Warming up before the test.

Punching stance. Determination on her face.

Earning her belt. Her old belt in her hand.

With Instructor Julie. Could her smile get any bigger? I don't think so.

Caroline and the boys.

Peter did not come with us for Caroline's belt test and when he came home, he said, "Where's that special little girl?" She came in and he gave her a big hug and told her he was proud of her. Can it get any better? She was beaming and I was proud of both of my kids. For all their bickering, they actually do care for each other.

Our New Bathroom!

After many years of hoping people won't need to use our downstairs bathroom, we finally remodeled it. The walls were a lovely shade of pale blue and the white vinyl flooring that sported blue flowers had long since yellowed with age. The toilet was original to the house which was built in 1969. Yes, the toilet was, uh, old. The cabinet was also original, except the top was replaced sometime in the late 70's.

This is the original bathroom.

Lovely vinyl flooring, don't you think?

And don't you just want to try putting makeup on with that vanity light fixture? You'd end up looking like Freddie Krueger.

This is what happens when the toilet hasn't been replaced in 40 years. The bolts underneath the bolt covers rust completely away. Apparently, the only thing holding this toilet down was gravity.


We tore away the walls to install some new electrical.

And viola! New toilet. Notice that the toilet has no exposed bolts or ledges to clean.

I picked the floor tile. Rick cut and installed it.

Vanity chosen by Rick and I agreed with his choice! Good work, Honey! The granite top we picked included the sink!

Light fixture found online.

Artwork which dicated the paint colors. The scriptures start with Faith, Truth, Strength, Love. These are on the wall across from the cabinetry.

We have an agreement, Rick does the construction, I do the decorating and painting. It works. I've done so much painting now that I don't use tape to paint straight lines anymore. I have good paint brushes and a much steadier hand.

Now I'm begging people to use the bathroom!

China Families Reunion - With a Twist!

On Saturday, we got together with the families who traveled with us to China for our daughters. We always love getting together with them and try to get together at Christmas and in the Summer. While McKenna and her family live in our area and we can schedule playdates, the other family lives 2 hours away and we see them twice a year. In this picture: Caroline, McKenna, Abigail.

The girls played for 6 hours straight with no arguments (anyone who has girls knows that any more than 2 girls at a time can create drama). Only once, after 6 hours together, did Caroline and McKenna melt down and poor Abigail was trying to be the peacemaker - at age 5! Both girls had a good cry and got over it and played again. The girls are all getting so big and they are all asking about their adoption stories. Wierd!

So, where's the twist? I know you're dying to find out.......

Weeeellllll, Abigail will be a big sister in about 6 months. Her mommy and daddy are going to have a baby...well, actually TWO BABIES!!! So exciting!! We are so happy for them!! We were so shocked when they told us and I think the oxygen was sucked right out of the room when they announced twins!

The next get-together will be even more fun! Can't wait!

Here's some more pictures from the day:

Obligatory Red Couch Photo. So fun to see them sitting together every time.
McKenna, Abigail, Caroline

Gift opening.

Abigail and Caroline riding the horse

Are Adoptive Parents Held to a Higher Standard?

November is National Adoption Month when families created through adoption celebrate their families and remember the first parents who were, for reasons good or bad, instrumental in the building of those families.

Which brings me to something I've mulled over for the past 10 or so years.

Are adoptive parents held to a higher standard than parents who gave birth to their children? Do adoptive parents feel the pressure to be perfect parents, or at least better parents than the child's birthparents could have been, even though there is no way to verify this idea? If a child has been abused by an adoptive parent, the media is quick to point out that they were adopted. They don't do that when the child was not adopted.

From the beginning of the adoption process, we are interviewed, have our backgrounds checked, our tax records checked, our bank accounts checked, we need references, we are required to go to parenting classes, classes on the psychology of the adopted child, child safety classes, etc. All things that are not required of a parent who gives birth. Already, more is required of adoptive parents than biological parents to prove they are capable of parenting. I'm not saying we shouldn't have these requirements, we should. But right from the start it does create an anxiety in adoptive parents that we need to be perfect.

Children adopted internationally are significantly less likely to find their birthfamily. It happens occasionally, but not very often. And it is a significant loss to the child. Children adopted domestically have a higher chance of finding their birthparents and in open adoptions, it's practically guaranteed that the child will know his or her birthparents. And well they should, it is their history. I get annoyed with people who have no background in adoption who tell a child they should be grateful that they were adopted and not go looking for their biological parents. If it were them, they'd want to know!

So now, adoptive parents might take on the anxiety of knowing that their child who meets their birthparents will compare the family they grew up with to the family that could have been. Will their birthparents be given a report card about how well we did after 18 years of raising this child?

• What if their birthparents are extremely successful now and we are...not?
• What if the birthparents went on to have other children who are happy and well-adjusted? Could they have been good parents to the child they placed with another family?
• Did the biological parents ever get irritated with their other children or were they model parents?

My head tells me that chances are, if they did parent the child they placed, they would not be successful because statistically, it is extremely difficult under the best of circumstances. This applies more specifically to teen parents. And I have a great deal of research to back that up. Anyone who has been watching the Dr. Phil family with a young woman, now 21 who was pregnant at 15 and decided against adoption can see what the outcome has been. And she had a great deal of help from a nationally known psychologist and life coach (Dr. Phil) and her family. Unfortunately, her situation is the norm rather than the exception.

My father died when I was 8. My mother never remarried. I think there were two reasons for this:

1. My mother didn't particularly like being married and they were planning a divorce when he got sick.
2. My mother knew that she could remarry the nicest man in the world, but he could not compete with the perception young girls create about their perfect daddy who died. My father had his faults, which I can see now. As a pre-teen, however, he was my daddy and he was perfect.

Is this the same for adoptive parents? Are we competing with a perception of what the birthparents might have been? Are our internationally adopted children wondering if their birthparents are perfect parents and they are stuck with us? Are adoptive parents holding ourselves to a higher standard because of this? Are we allowing ourselves to be human and have faults or are we telling ourselves we must be perfect parents and prove ourselves worthy of parenting?

There are those who may say that we are already better parents because we didn't give them up for adoption. I don't agree. It takes a great deal of love to carry a baby to term when there are other legal options, and place that living child in the arms of someone else when you know you are not capable of being a parent at that time of your life.

So for all you adoptive parents out there, what is your take on this? I'm curious.

Give Catherine a Cheer!!

My Canadian acquaintance, Catherine, just adopted her daughter, Hannah!!! Three and a half years after she sent her dossier to China to adopt a little girl, she finally has her daughter in her arms. I couldn't be happier for her. Of course, I especially love seeing her hold her daughter in the same room I held my Caroline for the first time. If you get a chance, click over and congratulate her for sticking it out for so long and having a terrific attitude about it too!

George Washington Meets Alice in Wonderland

So Peter tells me last night that he needs a George Washington costume, not for the costume parade at school, but for his report on the president that he is doing today. As I calmly and in my gentlest manic reaction screamed, uh, replied, "WHATTTT!!!!!???"

I had no George Washington hats in my arsenal and was fresh out of white powdered wigs, so it was off to Party City to see if they had anything. Turns out, EVERYONE WITHIN 10 MILES OF OUR TOWN WAS IN PARTY CITY. The long line was crazy. Well, they did have something that resembles a hat the first president would wear and it even had a white ponytail sticking out the back. We got the hat ($10) and went home. I searched through his jackets to see what I could find and came up empty and did some laundry. As I was hanging up some of my things, I came across a suit jacket that I haven't worn in some time and paired it with a white shirt and put it on him. It worked and viola! George Washington in blue jeans!

He does this to me again, and he will be mud. I have plenty of that in my yard.

How cute are they?

So the Halloween parade went off well at school. Caroline was Alice in Wonderland (easy to do, still had the costume from her birthday tea party). Peter was, of course, George Washington. The parents watched their kids parade around to the music of "Monster Mash" (does that take you back a few years? Me too.)

Peter and Camden (Abe Lincoln)

Caroline and Vincent

Then I went to Caroline's class for a little bit to take some pictures with the other Kinder parents. We lined up all the Disney characters for a picture:

Then we lined up all the girls:


Then all the boys:


Caroline is in love with Phillip (the Spiderman all the way on the right) and he likes her too. So what to the mom's do in such a case? Why we pick out wedding colors of course! Can't plan too early, you know (cough).

Tomorrow we are hosting Fall Fest with our church at the park. We are so excited for this opportunity to host a community event! Games, music, BBQ, giveaways, movies, kid shows. Woohoo! Can't wait!

It Was Only a Matter of Time.....

Caroline started TaeKwonDo.

Yep.

She's been watching Peter in his class for a year now and when she found out she could take the Tiger class, well she was all over that!

She begged me for a solid month to take the class, but it didn't start until the 5th so she had to have patience (NOT one of the virtues she was blessed with!).

She and Simon, who has been watching his big sister in TKD, both started on Tuesday. Simon happens to have been adopted from Korea.





Simon and Caroline waited anxiously for their class to start and watched the previous class with great interest. Both of them kept asking, "Is it our turn yet?" That 1/2 hour of watching the other class have fun was just short of torture for them. Yet, they perservered.

Simon is every bit the pistol that Caroline is so the two of them together in class was going to be a hoot. Simon's mom and I sat back and waited for mayhem to begin.

It didn't.

It never even got out of the gate.

It didn't even start it's engine.

Both of them listened very attentively and followed directions as well as two excited 4 and 5 year olds could! Instructor Julie was so proud of them and so were their moms. They loved the jumping around and kicking. "Adorable" was the word of the day watching them try new moves with the out-of-toddler-but-not-quite-there-yet coordination they possess. Simon and Caroline have been watching their siblings for so long that they easily understood what Instructor Julie was asking.

Caroline loves to kick!

Warming up and stretching.

It's going to be an expensive year.....