Today My Son Turns 10

I can hardly believe it.

After 5 years of marriage, a multitude of doctor appointments, surgeries – the last one resulting in a complete hysterectomy, lakes of tears, invasive homestudies, numerous classes, and reams of paperwork, we got a call 3 days after his birth that would change our lives forever:


“Good afternoon, Teresa. Are you sitting down?”


“Uh, yeah.” (Eloquent, don’t you think?)


“We have a baby boy for you. You have been chosen by his birthparents.”

“Uhhhh…” (Man, I’m good!)

“He’s full Korean, 7 lbs, 10oz, 20” long, born July 26th.”


Our friend, Steve, who was renting a room from us at the time, himself an adoptee, was heading up the stairs when he heard me say:

“Uhhh, 7lbs, 10 oz, 20” long…uh, huh” (Did I mention that I have a Bachelor’s Degree in English?)

Steve stops dead in the middle of the stairs.

“Will you come in tomorrow for him?”

“Uh, yes…yes…YES! What time?”

After all the particulars, it was time to call Rick. Steve immediately sat down to watch me make a phone call that would bring his own adoption story full circle.

(Breathe... breathe... breathe…)

“Hi, Honey. The agency called....we have a baby boy!”

“Uhhh. We do?” (I know, I know. I can hear the compliments from you on our movingly expressive use of the English language. Stop, really-we’re just blushing)

“Uh huh, 7 lbs, 10 oz, full Korean, born July 26th”

“Do I leave work now, or do we pick him up tomorrow?”

"Tomorrow at 2:30."

I'm sure there was more conversation, but after 10 years, much of it has faded from my memory.

So began our whirlwind of preparations…a quick shopping trip with a friend, a borrowed bassinet, a retrofitted hand-me-down carseat, film for the camera (no digital back then)… And $80 later preparations were complete…at least the physical ones were.

Nothing really prepares you to be a parent for the first time and there’s nothing like 24 hours notice that it’s happening to REALLY make you feel like you’re jumping off a cliff without so much as a bungee cord.

That night was a flurry of activity around the house. Phone calls to make, learn how to make formula, read up on “What to Expect the First Year”, oh…and get some sleep. Rick slept like a log. Me? Well, not so much….

The next day we met Rick’s dad at the agency and walked into the building. Peter had not arrived yet and we were anxiously awaiting his arrival when I remembered that we left something in the car. Rick went out to get it and he met our son in the parking lot. Our agency worker poked her head in and told Rick’s dad to turn on the camera. In walked Rick with our baby in the car seat. I kept looking at him when Rick said, “You can take him out, you know” I said, “I CAN, can’t I?” We just sat looking at him for the longest time and couldn’t believe we were actually holding our baby. The picture above was taken on July 30th, 1999. Our first photo as a family of three.


My first miracle.

After about an hour of picture taking, feeding, changing, burping, etc. It was time for us to take him home. As we were driving, Rick looked at me and said, “You’re thinking about the next 20 years, aren’t you?” Yeah, I was.


Dang. I really hate it when he’s right.

We arrived home and my friend Julie was there to videotape our arrival. Rick and I held our baby boy, looked at each other knowing each of us was thinking the same 5 words spoken by every first-time parent when they bring their child home, “Now what do we do?”

After several hours and many visitors, we finally went to bed and placed Peter in his bassinet. Around 12:30, I awoke to crying and thought, “What is that noise? Oh! That’s right! We have a baby!!” Rick and I watched as I fed him a bottle, marveling at the miracle in our arms, wondering why out of all the would-be parents in the world, his birthparents gave us the privilege of being his parents.

Not a birthday of Peter’s goes by that his birthparents are not on my mind and in my heart. My heart then prays a prayer of comfort and peace to their hearts because I know that they are thinking of him on this day too. I cannot even imagine the pain, the fear, the heartbreak they must have endured and may still endure to this day. We met his birthfather about a year later and were able to ask questions and thank him for what they did for our son. The selflessness they demonstrated on his behalf, knowing they could not raise a child at their age, nor did they want to raise him in two different homes with two sets of rules, shuffle him back and forth, new boyfriends, new girlfriends, etc. They wanted better for him. They could have chosen a legal medical decision for themselves, but chose to give him life instead. I will always be grateful. No one, but NO ONE says a bad word about them or they will get an earful from me! As side note: I am not one that believes he was “meant” to be my child. I do not believe God would cause a teenage girl to become pregnant so I could have a baby. Likewise (as in Caroline’s case), I do not believe that God would cause a woman in China to give birth and have to make such a painful choice so that I could have a child. No. I believe that God can take a difficult situation and redeem it. He only needs willing people. Can He direct a good match? Sure! Peter has an interest in computers like his dad and Caroline appears to have inherited the stubborn streak from my side of the family.

Yes, today he turns 10. My thoughts are many. Thankful to his birthparents, thankful to God.


Memories flood back and yet some memories have faded. Thank heaven for video recorders. I look back at pictures and remember fondly the toddler years. Capturing those first steps the day after his first birthday. Taking him to preschool. Hearing him pray for his baby sister in China, not knowing who she was or what she looked like. Watching him take on the role of big brother and the bumpy road it was in the beginning. Praying with him as he asked Jesus into his heart this April. Seeing him now taking on more responsibilities. All of it working toward the day we have to let him go and find his way.

He’s feeling comfortable enough to ask questions about his birthparents. I answer them directly without asking, “Why do you want to know?” He has seen a picture of them after I asked him if he wanted to see what they looked like. I had a conversation with him a few weeks ago and told him that he can ask me anything about his story and his birthparents and I will answer honestly with any information that I know. His response was that he was just curious. I responded with, “Well, I would be too!”

Happy Birthday, Peter. You are a joy to your daddy and me and we love you so much. We are so grateful to be called your mom and dad. You are one special boy.

You are indeed, my first miracle.

With Master Yoo after earning his blue stripe belt on Friday.